I had to do a “Writing exercise” for my English class, the assignment was to write a paper for a TV program called Masterclass, answering the question “What’s your secret ambiton and why?” so they could chose some people to receive expert tuition from a pro. So this was my answer:
From bilge rat to lookout
Ahoy! My name is Iñigo Alonso and I want to be a pirate! A mighty one, may I add. I want to sail the seven seas, with the Jolly Roger over my head, flapping in the warm wind of the Caribbean.
Although I fight like a dairy farmer, I am pretty athletic, so a few lessons with a sword master should be enough to transform me into a dangerous buccaneer. Also, I already curse like a sailor, so I’d only have to practice some taunting shouts.
Also important in a pirate’s life is the thievery, especially during the periods of time spent on shore awaiting for favourable winds, as stealing from your mates on board can cause you severe health problems, like losing your remaining eye or having to spend the night (or precisely the rest of your life) sleeping with the fish. Robbing landlocked lubbers seems much easier.
On regard of my treasure hunting abilities, I won last year’s Easter Eggs Contest held at my school. Admittedly, I only won the decoration contest, but I got to keep one of the eggs that I painted! Plus I can hold my breath for ten straight minutes, so many sunk ships are well within my reach.
So Masterclass, help me be a pirate, I’m already halfway there… Please? Pretty please? Please pretty please with sugar on top?